How we got Joseph to stay in bed after he figured out that getting up to pee would be rewarded
28-Feb-09
Our kids have generally been good at staying in their beds after we tuck them in.
Recently, we have been challenged. Joseph is three and a half and is just potty trained. For the last month or so, he has been getting out of bed 4-8 times a night to visit the bathroom. All parties are aware that he doesn’t have to pee that many times, but as parents, we’re basically extorted into cheering for him after he claims to have peed. So he comes to wherever we are and squeals “I peeeeeeeeeeeeed!” and then there are hugs and kisses, and a cheerful re-tucking in.
Basically, he was getting rewarded for getting out of his bed.
Emily, her body full of hormones being a week and a half away from kiddo #3, started to get stressed out about it.
So, it was time for some boundaries. Literally. The door sill of the hallway to the bedrooms and bathrooms became the border that he was not to cross. The punishment was to be that we would lock him in his room. “Locking” is to bungee the door shut so he could struggle to open it and it would make lots of noise so we could get there before he could squeeze his way out.
To rehearse punishment scenario, I had him step across the line, and I’d tell him that he crossed the line so now he was getting locked in his room, and I’d tell him that this is what happens when he steps across the line. Then, I’d put him in his room and hold the door shut until he started to make some light panic noises. I’d open the door, hold him and tell him that once he gets tucked in, he can’t cross the line, and have him tell me what happened if he crossed the line. Then, we went and had him show me where the line. Then, we brushed teeth and I had him tell me where the line was, and what would happen if he crossed the line.
There was no doubting that he understood the situation.
Two nights in, he has not crossed that threshold. So for two nights, we’ve avoided roughly sixteen stress inducing trips to the bathroom and tucking in series. Pretty good returns on about five minutes of firm parenting.